Chapter Thirty-Three: The Title Was Devoured with Garlic Paste

I'm Really Not a Pokémon I will not update. 2452 words 2026-03-05 00:37:48

Chen Ou was deeply grateful that his plan had such a formidable lineup as a safety net. The margin for error was relatively high. Otherwise, he would have been in a real panic by now.

He stared blankly at the black-and-red Lugia emerging from Hoopa's ring of malevolent energy, utterly bewildered. Because before this, the evil Hoopa had already summoned the King of the Pillars, Regigigas; the God of Time, Dialga; the God of Space, Palkia; the Lord of the Underworld, Giratina; the Creator of Land, Groudon; the Creator of the Ocean, Kyogre; and the Ice Dragon, Kyurem...

That made seven already!

"Hoopa, didn't you say that Pokémon of this power could only be summoned one at a time through the dimensional rift? You only left one ring..." Chen Ou asked in a dazed voice.

Red, Cynthia, and Calune also wore grim expressions. The Lugia before them was the eighth legendary Pokémon, and four more rings were slowly opening. Though strained as if bearing a thousand tons of weight, they were still opening.

"Ho... Hoopa doesn't know..." Hoopa was just as confused. It knew its own limitations—this was beyond its capabilities. There was no logic in being sealed for a hundred years only to emerge stronger. After all, there was no way to train inside the jar, was there?

So what was happening? Why did his plans always go awry?

"No time to strategize, let's just break Hoopa's dimensional rift first," said Chen Ou, then vaulted onto Entei's back. "Everyone, fight freely. Interrupt Hoopa's skill before he can summon any more. We're already beyond our capacity to cope."

Chen Ou grabbed Little Hoopa, patted Entei's neck, and Entei immediately dashed off in another direction. Behind him, Cynthia and the others launched into their own battles.

Entei raced through the forest, gradually approaching the evil Hoopa, who was summoning with all its might.

"Entei, when will Ho-oh arrive?" Chen Ou asked, his face stern. The situation had once again exceeded his expectations.

Why did he have to say "again"?

[Very soon. Lord Ho-oh will arrive in another minute.]

Entei growled his response, and Chen Ou barely understood his meaning. This operation was too dangerous, so he hadn't brought the research- and support-oriented Rotom Pokédex along. Fortunately, he'd developed a certain rapport with Entei over the past few days, so he could just manage to comprehend the beast.

Upon learning that Ho-oh would arrive in time, Chen Ou finally relaxed a little; the pressure would not be unbearable, after all.

Little Hoopa, perched on his shoulder, stared at the evil Hoopa with terror shining in its eyes, unable to look away.

"Power... so sorrowful," Hoopa murmured.

Chen Ou shook his head at those words; the reason for sorrow didn’t matter. The priority now was to stop him, not to understand why he was sad.

"Hoopa, call for reinforcements. Soon everyone will be overwhelmed," Chen Ou tried to keep his tone calm, though inside he was utterly frantic.

He swore to himself: never again would he make any more plans!

"All right! Hoopa, help, help!"

Hoopa shouted, and the three rings beside it rapidly expanded. Soon, a Rayquaza and the sibling pair Latios and Latias emerged from them.

Chen Ou transformed into flames, landed atop Latios, startling him, and directed: "Entei, Sacred Fire! The rest, use Dragon Pulse! Interrupt the summoning!"

A streak of purple sacred flames and three streams of purple dragon energy instantly shot toward the evil Hoopa.

The evil Hoopa made no attempt to defend. For at that moment, Palkia unleashed a Spatial Rend, clashing energies and raising clouds of dust. Chen Ou vanished into the gray haze. Then, a rainbow arched across the sky, and a great brown bird cried out before blasting Palkia with a jet of fire, sending it flying.

This was the moment the photographer dropped the camera...

But before Ho-oh could celebrate, a gigantic sword-shaped stone, wrapped in magma, erupted from the ground and stabbed toward Ho-oh’s abdomen.

True warning: Precipice Blades!

Fortunately, Ho-oh reacted quickly, twisting aside to dodge, but its wing was still struck by Precipice Blades. Pain made Ho-oh lose balance and plummet.

At the same time, Kyurem, who was locked in a fierce battle with Calune, turned and unleashed a Dragon Pulse at Ho-oh. Rainbow flames flared on Ho-oh's wing, healing the wound caused by Precipice Blades, and the pain vanished. With a mighty flap, Ho-oh soared back into the sky, dodging the attack.

Calune was exasperated. She couldn't fully restrain Kyurem. This ice dragon, one of the Tao Trio, the legendary shell of the divine dragon, left Calune exhausted in body and mind. For the first time, she realized there existed such beings: her attacks barely harmed it, but its blows could easily render her Pokémon unable to fight.

Few champions in this parallel world had ever faced divine beasts themselves; they were far too inexperienced against such opponents.

To think, Kyurem still hadn’t attacked Calune at full strength—it could transform into White Kyurem with the DNA Splicers.

On the other side, Red struggled against Dialga, while Cynthia held off Regigigas. Both barely managed to keep their foes occupied, preventing them from joining the other fights.

To stand alongside gods with mortal bodies—

It was never so easy...

Calune looked at the two who, though not at ease, could at least fight evenly, and pressed her lips together. She suddenly felt she should drop a couple of movie roles and focus on training her Pokémon.

Being a burden at such a critical moment was truly shameful.

But the situation remained unresolved. Now Ho-oh was facing Palkia, Rayquaza had engaged Groudon and Kyogre, Latios and Latias—after Mega Evolution—were battling Giratina, and Entei, having joined forces with Suicune and Raikou, had confronted Lugia.

Still, nothing was solved...

Hoopa continued summoning. In the four rings not yet fully expanded, faint images of a blue deer, a black-and-red giant bird, and two wolves flickered.

Just then, a shout echoed in everyone’s ears.

"Fire Punch!"

A giant fist of flame materialized out of the dust and, to everyone's shock, slammed into the evil Hoopa’s face.

Hoopa was sent flying, and the four rings contracted instantly, extinguishing any hope of another summoning.

As the gusts from the swirling dust faded, Chen Ou appeared before them all—fire wings unfurled, flames dancing across his body.

ps. Many thanks to the boss Spiral Madman for the monthly ticket—what generosity!