If only I were as clever as my mother.

Chapter Title: 088 If Only I Were as Clever as Her

“So, are you trying to stir others into exploiting our concerns in the hope of finding a chance to strike back?”

As soon as Fang Rulai countered, the white-haired old woman responded with a cold, mirthless laugh.

If the other side could guess their mindset, how could they not anticipate the other’s as well? They were all cunning foxes, each as shrewd as the next—no one here was easily fooled!

“Or perhaps, you want to lay everything bare and let us know that the only way to seize the entire salt route is to wipe out everyone present, so your son might have some company in death?”

Fang Rulai pressed further, and the color drained from the faces of the assembled guests.

Just moments ago, spurred by the old woman's words, they had begun to wonder if the authorities truly harbored scruples toward them—perhaps then, they might find some way to fight back, to turn the tables. But before they could devise any concrete plan, Fang Rulai’s words had already frightened them into retreat. They all turned to look at the old woman, realizing now that they too had been counted among her pawns.

The old woman simply closed her eyes and replied with a cryptic phrase, “If you wish to accuse, evidence is never hard to find.”

The guests exchanged suspicious glances. Which of them was right, truly? Yet, seeing the Zhou family, who had been crushed by the authorities in an instant, gave them some comfort in their shared weakness.

None of them dared speak, but their feet inched further away from Fang Rulai. Whether or not the old woman intended to use them, she had spoken one thing correctly: To serve the authorities was no less dangerous than walking with tigers. At best, one might make a little money; but should there be the slightest misstep, it could mean utter ruin and death for the whole family.

With salt routes so perilous, as if they wore their heads at their belts, was it really worth it to stay involved?

The atmosphere froze, heavy and tense.

A quiet signal of collective withdrawal seemed to hang in the air.

Suddenly, Fang Rulai let out a muffled laugh—loud and chilling, sending shivers down everyone’s spines, including the old woman.

“We should have done this from the start,” Fang Rulai said to Guan Shiyin in the tone of chatting about family matters. “We should have given the order and unleashed a volley of arrows. Why bother persuading with virtue? Now that the Zhao family’s salt-boiling technique is in hand, what’s the point of keeping these outside elements? You might as well bring in fresh blood from the capital and start anew. New administration, new salt route—how wonderful!”

The guests were startled. The salt-boiling technique was already in the government’s hands? And new policies? Could it be true, the rumors that the Second Prince was planning a coup?

Guan Shiyin sighed, his face full of disappointed affection. “The Second Prince is simply too kind-hearted. He says the Pingcheng salt route has supplied the Yao Tian Kingdom for nearly a century. Such meritorious families—he won’t use them, but neither should they be condemned to death.”

“And now? Neither threat nor temptation can win them over, and now that they know the Second Prince seeks to seize power, can he afford to remain so benevolent?”

“He is compassionate, but not naïve. Since peaceful negotiations have failed, there’s only one path left…” Guan Shiyin paused, his gaze sweeping over the faces of the guests, finally settling on the old woman. “Kill.”

The guests’ hearts skipped a beat. Was this really where they would meet their end?

The old woman’s eyes flew open. “Don’t believe him, he wouldn’t—”

Before the word “dare” could leave her lips, a barrage of arrows tore through the night, their hissing shrieks filling the air.

Guan Shiyin sat at the table, half-leaning on Fang Rulai, a contemptuous smile on his lips. “Wouldn’t dare? Watch and see if I dare. Or not.”

The words were still hanging in the air when the arrows arrived. The sharp points reflected in the guests’ widened eyes.

Death was at their door.

Village Chief Shi abruptly dropped to his knees. “Shi Family Village pledges loyalty to the Second Prince!”

The others, hearts pounding, had just opened their mouths to follow his lead when Fang Rulai’s merciless words cut them off. “Too late.”

Arrows struck with a sickening thud; blood spurted in crimson arcs. Not a single guest made a sound before collapsing, save the old woman.

“Oh my, missed one,” Fang Rulai said with feigned regret.

The old woman burst into laughter. “You are truly too foolish, too naïve! Do you really think that with the salt-boiling technique in hand and new people in place, everything will be smooth? If it were that simple, would the Crown Prince have waited so long to crush this place?”

“You’re a loyalist of the Crown Prince!”

“Indeed!” she declared proudly, chest out. “Even when the late emperor was alive, the Crown Prince coveted the Pingcheng salt route. But why didn’t he use force? Because salt routes are not easily made. Destroying and rebuilding would take at least ten years—far too long, with too many variables. Should court factions be affected, the loss would outweigh the gain.”

“So, to seize the route quietly, he sent Magistrate Sun Chi to target the Zhao family from the shadows, and you as the backup in case Sun failed?”

“That’s right! The Crown Prince’s genius is beyond your comprehension. Whether you pretend to be deceived, try to win us over, or ultimately slaughter us, it’s all within his calculations. If the salt route cannot fall into his hands now, then let all the core figures be slaughtered by your hands.”

Fang Rulai toasted her in midair. “This way, the bereaved families of the dead would never serve the Second Prince. And as he rebuilds the salt route, you could quietly reach out and win over those bereaved families for the Crown Prince. Yes, the Crown Prince is indeed as clever as his mother!”

Guan Shiyin, for once, was taken aback. “How do you know the late Empress was clever?”

Fang Rulai shrugged. “I don’t.”

“Then why did you just say the Crown Prince was like his mother?”

“Oh, I meant he’s just damn clever, that’s all.”

As Fang Rulai explained, Zhu Xishi, who had been eating and watching the show, burst out a mouthful of braised pork, hitting Zhou Dashan square on the back of the head under the table.

The sauce trickled down Zhou Dashan’s neck, and, ever so slightly, his neck twitched.

But no one noticed.

Fang Rulai continued, “But now that you’ve exposed the Crown Prince’s plan, you cannot leave this boat alive. How will you help him rebuild the salt route?”

The old woman laughed with pride. “Since I dare say it, I never intended to leave alive. The Crown Prince is farsighted—do you really think I am his only agent in the salt route? After my death, he will know what to do.”

“Oh? And if we don’t let you die? You’ve told us the beginning; shouldn’t you lead us to the end as well?”

“Hmph! You don’t have that cha—” A resolute, death-defying gleam flashed in her eyes.

Fang Rulai noticed and, raising her hand to push Guan Shiyin aside to stop her, saw the old woman clamp her mouth shut and bite through her tongue.

Guan Shiyin sighed. “What a pity! Had she waited a bit longer, she would have received quite a surprise.”

“For her, perhaps more a fright than a surprise,” Fang Rulai replied, giving Guan Shiyin a shove. “Go check if she’s truly dead! I won’t risk a plot twist now.”

“Tch, impossible. It wasn’t by my hand—what twist could there be?” Guan Shiyin grumbled, but still walked over, pressed two fingers to the old woman’s neck, and nodded. “She’s truly dead!”

“All right, call them back to life,” Fang Rulai said, as if ordering a servant. Zhu Xishi found it funny, but didn’t joke.

“Call who back?” Zhu Xishi asked. Apart from themselves, only corpses remained aboard.

Before Fang Rulai could answer, Zhu Xishi saw the “dead” guests begin to move, stretching their limbs. She leapt up in shock. “What’s going on?”

Guan Shiyin yanked an arrow from someone’s body. “Heh, a special Guanjia arrow! Comes with a blood pouch—sticks on impact, but never pierces the skin.”

Zhu Xishi slapped her thigh. Of course, she’d seen it at the magistrate’s office last night. But why…?

Village Chief Shi asked, “Why fake our deaths with arrows?”

Guan Shiyin shot him a sidelong glance. “Why did you, knowing they were fake, pretend to die?”

Their eyes met, understanding as clear as day.

Again, it was the matter of shrewd minds—none more foolish than the next.

Village Chief Shi, being at the front, had been the first to be struck and thus the first to discover the arrows were fake. In that instant, he realized that if someone left them a way out, there must be a purpose. If he wished to live, he should cooperate in the act. As he fell, he signaled those behind to play dead as well.

Only after “dying” did they realize: they too were among those the Crown Prince sought to win over. And this must be the message the arrow-shooters wished them to receive.

“We pledge ourselves to the Second Prince!” Village Chief Shi declared, leading the bow.

The Crown Prince may have been terrifying, orchestrating both overt and covert moves to seize the salt route, but the Second Prince’s faction, able to see through it all and turn the tables at the crucial moment, was even more so. It became clear that, having been part of the salt route, they could never escape the reach of either side, whether by open violence or secret plotting. Since death was inevitable either way, they might as well choose a side and fight.

“Wise choice!” Guan Shiyin signaled them to rise, handing over the dagger. “It’s yours now!”

“Ours?” Village Chief Shi took the dagger, scarcely able to believe that what they’d coveted for years was now in their hands.

“Yes, yours,” Fang Rulai explained. “You are the heart of the salt route. In the days to come, the authorities will only protect you—they will not meddle in your management.”

“What?” the crowd exclaimed in unison. Didn’t the authorities fear their disloyalty?

Village Chief Shi’s hands trembled strangely. “Then who will make final decisions for the route?” With so many families, each considering their own contributions greatest, who should lead?

“Take turns!” Fang Rulai pointed at them. “Each family head takes the reins for a year. As for the order, draw lots or play a game—it’s up to you.”

A year! The guests were elated; a year’s control could bring untold benefits to their own clans.

Zhu Xishi nudged Fang Rulai and whispered, “But if someone’s in charge, won’t they just fatten their own coffers? Won’t it all fall into chaos?”

The guests’ eyes froze—she’d hit the nail on the head.

Fang Rulai’s smile didn’t waver. “If anyone thinks they can do that, let them try. First, if they siphon too much and cripple the route, the next year, when another family leads, they’ll be dealt with accordingly.”

The guests’ hearts skipped. Even if they took more, they couldn’t destroy the route—or else, when it was another’s turn…

“Second, do you think…” Fang Rulai pointed to the fake arrows still stuck in their bodies. “Those who make fake arrows couldn’t make real ones?”

With a thump, the guests all dropped to their knees. “We pledge unwavering loyalty to the Second Prince!”

Fang Rulai was in good spirits. “In the spirit of Buddha’s compassion, let me remind you: non-interference in management does not mean the authorities will ignore your affairs. If you wish to challenge official power, you’d best be as clever as the Crown Prince’s mother. If not, best focus on your own family’s business.”

“Yes, yes.” No one dared utter a peep. Compared to the threat of brute force, it was this constant, crushing intelligence that truly chilled them to the bone.

Village Chief Shi rose and said, “We understand, and will comply. But who will be responsible for salt transport? With the old woman and the Zhou family gone, who will take over?”

He looked at Guan Shiyin, who gazed skyward; he looked at Fang Rulai, who was conferring with Zhu Xishi.

Shi was bewildered—had they not heard?

He was about to ask again when a voice rang out, “I will.”

Village Chief Shi and the rest nearly leapt in fright—it was Zhou Dashan’s voice.

From beneath the table, Zhou Dashan climbed out, ignoring Shi, and looked straight at Fang Rulai.

“Miss, your strategy is brilliant!”

Zhu Xishi quipped, “You should say, ‘She is as clever as her mother.’”

Fang Rulai nodded solemnly. “Damn right I’m clever. Offer up your knees, all of you.”

Zhu Xishi blinked. “What does that mean, ‘offer up your knees’?”

Before Fang Rulai could answer, Zhou Dashan had already dropped to one knee. Even kneeling, his burly frame met Fang Rulai eye to eye.

“Miss, you boarded the boat as part of a ruse to gather all the salt merchants in one place; you brought out the dagger to provoke our next move; you exposed the poisoning to sow discord; your first counterattack was restrained, meant only to intimidate; and finally, you flushed out the traitor to win absolute loyalty.”

Even now, having pieced it all together, they had no choice but to submit to her design.

“Indeed, Master Zhou, you too are as clever as your mother,” Fang Rulai said, gesturing to the dead old woman.

Zhou Dashan understood—she was testing his loyalty.

He clasped his fists, eyes earnest. “She was not my birth mother, so I knew nothing of her allegiance to the Crown Prince.”

“I believe you.”

Eh? Zhou Dashan was stunned—even he thought his excuse was thin. Why did she believe him?

Fang Rulai called into the air, “Banxia.”

At her call, Banxia and a child emerged from the water.

Zhou Dashan’s tears flowed at once. “Bao’er!”

Fang Rulai signaled Banxia to hand the child to Zhou Dashan. “This is the Second Prince’s goodwill.”

The Second Prince had long suspected the old woman’s duplicity. Months ago, while investigating, he’d discovered the Crown Prince’s pawn—a grandson of the Zhou family—hidden in her secret chamber.

The child had been rescued long ago but only now returned, for a reason.

Such a purpose, Zhou Dashan accepted willingly.

“The Zhou family will serve the Second Prince unto death!” he declared, though his gaze never left Fang Rulai.

Whether the Second Prince, far away, was truly clever or not, he did not know. But this woman’s mastery had left him in awe.

If such a woman were to lead the Zhou family…

“My dear, you just said good children shouldn’t stay out too late—let’s go home to bed,” Guan Shiyin interrupted, swooping Fang Rulai into his arms and vanishing into the air.

Hmph, another toad lusting for swan meat! It was infuriating! Tonight, he’d demand kisses enough to soothe his wounded heart!

Unwilling to give up, Zhou Dashan turned to Zhu Xishi. “Cousin Zhu, you were frightened today and didn’t get to enjoy the scenery. Perhaps tomorrow—?”

“Banxia, you tidy up!” At that moment, Mu Zhijin emerged from the water, gave a command, and, with a sweep of his arm, scooped Zhu Xishi into his embrace and disappeared in a flash.

Banxia stamped her foot. “Zhou whatever-your-name-is, you’re responsible for rooting out your own traitors! Everyone else, go home! We’ll discuss the details at the magistrate’s office tomorrow morning.”

With that, Banxia flew away as well.

Thus, none of them saw, as they left, a pure white dove slip out from the lower deck and soar into the night sky, heading straight for the capital.

Phew, that’s the end of the first volume. Tomorrow, on to volume two!

Bonus: Modern Internet Slang in Classical Prose

Rich man, let us be friends — Wealthy merchant, may we be friends?
My friends and I were all stunned — My companions and I were utterly astonished.
So tired, I feel no love — Weary beyond affection.
So naive, so simple — Thou art still young, and knowest not.
Unanimously, none ask me out — None have sought my company for long, thus have I developed a fondness for solitude.
Are you kidding me? — Are you, like your mother, making sport of me?
I am so damn clever — If only I were as clever as my mother.
Praise for my mother tongue! I love writing~
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