Chapter Eighty-Nine: Rebirth

With long silver hair falling to my waist and crimson, enchanting eyes, I awoke from slumber in my true form, and the first thing that met my gaze was a young, handsome man.

“Lilith, welcome back,” the man said with a gentle smile.

“Who are you?” I asked warily, regarding the stranger before me. From him I felt a heavy pressure. My memories still ended at the moment I clashed with the Vampire King, and everything after that was gone. It was as if someone had erased it from the world. What had happened afterward? How had the battle ended? Why was I here? All of it filled me with fear.

“You do not need to know who I am now. One day, you will. For now, it is enough that you know I mean you no harm, is it not?” the young man said, still smiling.

“Whoever you are, stay away from me. I do not need anyone’s help.” Looking at him, I sensed a familiar presence, one that made me want to draw near despite myself. That feeling unsettled me. I am myself; my fate is mine alone to command, and I do not wish to be influenced by anyone. Even if this man truly had some connection to me, it held no meaning for the present me.

As though seeing through my thoughts, the man smiled at me. “Rest assured. I only wanted to confirm that you were safe. Now that I see you are well, that is enough. I will not interfere with your choice.”

He turned and slowly walked away. “Lilith, we will meet again. Next time we see each other, I hope you will have found your own happiness.” His voice drifted back from the distance.

“Happiness?” My heart ached at his words. “Can someone like me even have happiness of my own?” I gazed up at the night sky and let out a soft sigh.

“What am I supposed to do now?” I sat alone in a daze atop the roof, looking at the city shrouded in deep darkness, and fell into confusion.

These past few days, an indistinct shadow had surfaced in my mind again and again. I wanted to uncover everything about him, yet my impression of him remained hazy, leaving me with no memory at all. And still, I felt that he was very important to me. Who was he? Where was he now? What was our relationship? My thoughts were a tangle, full of countless questions.

“Sister Lilith!” Just as I was lost in thought, a figure rapidly approached me. Liliel, who had gone out hunting, suddenly sensed my presence and hurried toward me at full speed. When she saw me from afar, she could not help crying out in delight.

“It is you,” I said calmly, looking at her ecstatic expression. I remembered her; she was one of those who had always followed behind me.

“Sister Lilith, it really is you. Thank goodness. I could not sense your presence these past few days, and I thought something had happened to you. Seeing you safe is such a relief.” Liliel was so overjoyed she was almost incoherent.

I looked at her and felt the joy radiating from her heart. Perhaps, once upon a time, our relationship had truly been very good. Yet now, I felt not the slightest tremor of emotion, as though I were merely a detached bystander.

“Sister Lilith, have you been all right these past few days? You were not hurt by that Vampire King, were you?” Liliel asked with concern.

“No, I am fine.” Though I did not know how that battle had ultimately ended, the fact remained that I was standing here unharmed. As for the Vampire King’s fate, I had no interest in knowing. Then, suddenly, that vague figure in my memory came to mind again.

“Liliel.” I remembered that the others had called her that.

“Sister Lilith, you remembered?” Liliel exclaimed in delight when she heard me call her name.

“No. I have no recollection of you, or of anything you have said.” My indifferent reply caused Liliel to sink again into disappointment. “I only want to ask you something.”

“What do you want to ask? If I know the answer, I will certainly tell you.” Liliel’s voice sounded subdued. Perhaps the fact that I had lost all memory of her had been a great blow to her.

“I only want to know who is the most important person to me?” I asked her solemnly. Right now, I desperately needed to know who that blurred figure appearing again and again in my mind really was. I did not want to remain in this state of unrest any longer.

“The most important person?” Liliel looked bewildered by my question and did not answer for a long while.

“Yes, the most important person.” I said quietly. “Recently, a vague shadow keeps appearing in my mind, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot remember what he looks like, or who he is. I have lost all my past memories, even forgotten completely who I am, and yet I still remember him. I think he must be someone extremely important to me, more important than my own life.”

After hearing me, Liliel remained silent.

“Who is he? Tell me, Liliel.” Looking at her expression, I knew she must know the answer.

“He is called Star Whisper. He was the person Sister Lilith loved most in the past. He is human.” At last, Liliel gave me the answer I wanted.

“A human? It seems my former self was truly extraordinary.” After learning the truth, I did not feel surprised; instead, I smiled. A human, then? For breaking the taboo of the bloodline and falling in love with a human, I felt quite satisfied. That was me: unbound by any rules, following no decree of fate. I found myself liking my former self now.

What sort of human was Star Whisper, then? To have meant more to my former self than her own life. Still, that name seemed familiar; I think I had heard it from that human before. When I chose to go with him, perhaps that name influenced me somewhat.

“Sister Lilith.” Seeing me drift into thought again, Liliel called my name and pulled me back to reality. “Will you go find him? That human?”

“Find him? Why?” I asked in confusion.

“But isn’t Star Whisper the most important person to you? You asked me about him—was that not because you wanted to find him?” Liliel seemed rather shocked by my answer.

“To my former self, that human named Star Whisper may have been the most important person. But what does that have to do with me?” I said matter-of-factly. “Since I have already lost all my past memories, why should I recover them? The me of now is only me, and has nothing more to do with the past. I do not care what kind of person Liliana or Lilith once was, but for the present me, the most important thing is freedom—the freedom not to be bound by any fate.” My tone was resolute.

“What about us? And Father? Are you going to abandon all of that as well, Sister Lilith?” Liliel sounded panicked.

“Yes. I will abandon everything from before. From now on, I am only myself.” I smiled, shedding all the confusion in my heart. “Thank you for telling me the answer, Liliel. Now I can rest at ease and leave the past behind.” I said to her. “Perhaps we will meet again someday, Liliel.”

Then I vanished from before her eyes in an instant.

I had decided to leave this city. I had chosen it only because, when I first lost all my memories, I had followed a familiar feeling and come here by instinct. But now, there was nothing left here that I could not let go of. So I decided to leave, and draw a complete line beneath my past self. I did not want to become who I once was again, because the me of now has thoughts that belong only to me. If I were to recover my memories, perhaps I would no longer be myself.

“Sister Lilith?” Hearing my words, Liliel called out to me anxiously, but my figure had long since vanished. How could she possibly find me again?

“How could this happen?” Liliel murmured in disbelief. Could it be that she would never again recover the Sister Lilith she once knew? The Sister Lilith she had admired and looked up to so deeply. Pain welled up in Liliel’s heart again and again.