Chapter One: A Catastrophic Beginning-Eu sou um tolo, que más intenções poderia ter?(Pena de ganso selvagem batata-doce)

Xue Yuan awoke in a haze, his mind swimming, to find himself lying on an ornate, antique canopy bed. Gauzy curtains hung softly down, and seated upon the couch was a beauty in ancient dress.

She wore a sheer crimson silk gown, a pink bodice barely concealing her proud curves, her fragrant shoulders exposed and her slender waist captivating. Her long, pale legs gleamed enticingly under the candlelight.

Xue Yuan stared dazedly at the scene before him.

He remembered spending the previous night at a club, singing with friends while listening to a girl pour out her troubles: a drunken father, a gambling mother, a younger brother in school, and her own shattered heart. Sympathy had made him drink a little too much. Then, everything went black...

“How did I end up here all of a sudden?”

He was about to ask, when the woman turned her head, her delicate brows furrowing as she glanced his way.

“You’re awake? I thought you were dead,” she said coldly, her voice devoid of emotion. “Listen carefully, fool. I, your Princess Consort Chu Qiu’er, have just slept with you. Naked. Remember that.”

Xue Yuan’s confusion deepened.

“Princess... Consort?”

A sudden thought jolted him upright.

“Damn, could this be that immersive ancient drama experience Old Wang and the others talked about?”

He was indignant—how could a proper man like himself take part in something so tacky? He shot a critical glare at the beauty’s... legs.

Good legs.

The beauty scowled, “Stop staring. Any more and your head will catch fire. Just remember: we slept together, cuddled for a quarter of an hour, and now I’m pregnant. From today onward, I’ll be focusing on my pregnancy. Don’t come to my chambers unless necessary, understand?”

Xue Yuan was utterly lost.

What did she mean, sleep together and pregnant? He hadn’t even done anything—he was drunk, for one, and even if he had, there was still probability to consider.

Was she trying to con an idiot?

He, Xue Yuan, owned eighty-two Shaxian snack shops, fifty-one Lanzhou noodle houses, twenty-eight spicy hotpot restaurants, and nineteen Shengzhou dumpling stalls—a veritable food empire dominating the county’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner scene. He was the local kingpin of Heigouzi County. If he could be swindled like this, where would he put his face?

He was about to leap up and call on his connections when, suddenly, the world spun.

A torrent of chaotic memories flooded violently into his mind.

“My name is Xue Yuan, twenty years old, fifth prince of the late emperor!”

“I’m a fool, but the current emperor insisted on naming me Prince Ning and sending me to Ningzhou to take up my fief!”

“Ningzhou is the richest region south of the river, known as the imperial treasury! The emperor sent a fool like me to rule, clearly to install a puppet and keep control.”

“To ensure this, he also sent Qian Zhongxian, famed as the ‘Kirin Prodigy’, to act as my steward but really to pull the strings behind the scenes!”

“As it happens, the princess consort has long admired Qian Zhongxian’s talent, so the pair quickly ignited a secret affair!”

“With the support of both the princess consort and the emperor, Qian Zhongxian soon controlled everything in the prince’s household. Meanwhile, I, apart from being a fake father, had no power and was endlessly humiliated…”

At this point, Xue Yuan realized he had crossed into another world.

Naturally, he was shocked—shocked for a long time—but he had read enough trashy web novels to accept it, more or less.

But as he sorted through his memories, he realized his situation was even worse than he’d feared.

According to the memories, the reason he’d transmigrated was that the original owner had died from poisoning in a bowl of soup at lunch.

If this were a brainless novel, the poison must have come from the princess consort!

But having clawed his way up from the bottom, Xue Yuan had both intelligence and street smarts. A little thought made it clear: impossible.

After all, he was the emperor’s designated puppet. Where would they find a second “fool prince” if he died? If he perished, the emperor would surely bury Qian Zhongxian with him, and the princess consort’s fate would be grim.

Clearly, there was another faction plotting his death.

Who were they? Why target a useless fool of a prince?

No matter what, the assassin would surely try again. But with the household under the steward’s thumb, no one would believe him, let alone help.

A chill ran down Xue Yuan’s spine.

He wasn’t naive enough to think he could just shout, “I’m not a fool anymore!” then swagger in, kill the steward, and seize back control.

Not with the entire household loyal to someone else. And if the emperor learned he wasn’t a fool, the first reaction would be to suspect him of harboring ulterior motives—a prince like that could not be allowed to live.

“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. It’s like being trapped in a malfunctioning elevator—sooner or later I’ll suffocate…”

Just then, he noticed a line of words floating above Princess Consort Chu Qiu’er’s head:

Xue Yuan was momentarily stunned.

But having absorbed enough transmigration stories, he quickly realized—this was his cheat!

It seemed he could peer into others’ cultivation, intelligence, personality, preferences, and recent major events.

Judging from the description, the princess consort was indeed pregnant with a bastard. Her earlier performance was meant to fool the “fool prince” into accepting paternity, preventing suspicion.

Also, she wasn’t very bright—easy to trick. That could be useful.

But… so then what?

The most he could come up with was, “Madam, you wouldn’t want your husband to find out about this, would you?”

What kind of lame cheat was this? And what was with that “tee-hee” at the end? Was this a proper system or not?

At that moment, Chu Qiu’er had already pulled her robes closed and left the room.

Xue Yuan realized that if he stopped staring at someone, the floating words above their head would vanish.

He continued to observe quietly.

After Chu Qiu’er left, a man in his thirties, sporting a goatee and a slightly plump build, immediately greeted her. This was the so-called “Kirin Prodigy,” Qian Zhongxian.

Qian Zhongxian showed no concern for Xue Yuan, standing at the door with a look of anxious concern. “Qiu’er, he didn’t do anything to you, did he?”

Chu Qiu’er dropped her frosty demeanor and flashed him a charming smile. “Oh, please, what would a fool know? It was all just for show. Why are you so jealous?”

Qian Zhongxian replied, “I know it was necessary, but just the thought of that fool’s filthy hands on you makes my heart ache as if stabbed with a knife!”

Chu Qiu’er laughed coquettishly. “You’re impossible. Since when did the famous prodigy from the capital become so petty?”

Qian Zhongxian said gravely, “A real man stands tall—how can he let others touch his wife? No, I must go teach him a lesson!”

Xue Yuan couldn’t help but smirk. Who was really sleeping with whose wife here, huh?

But soon, Qian Zhongxian strode straight into his room.

Xue Yuan saw the words floating above his head as well:

Xue Yuan’s head spun. His first thought: Who’s Lady Wang…? Wait, that’s not important.

What mattered was this: it was now clear that the princess consort’s bastard was Qian Zhongxian’s. His plan was to wait for the child to be born, have him named heir, then kill off Xue Yuan.

It made sense—once the heir took over, being so young, he’d remain a puppet, and the emperor would likely let Qian Zhongxian keep running the show at Prince Ning’s Residence.

That would make him a true “non-imperial prince”—after all, the heir was his own son. If not a prince, what else?

Xue Yuan had seen people ennobled for military merit, but never for their sperm!

This Kirin Prodigy was impressive, in his own way.

“But aside from his talent at poetry and manipulation, he’s greedy, lecherous, and egotistical—these flaws might be exploitable.”

As Xue Yuan pondered, Qian Zhongxian suddenly slapped him hard across the face.

Smack!

Caught off guard, Xue Yuan felt his cheek burn as Qian Zhongxian sneered.

“Guards! The prince is acting up again—lock him in the woodshed and no food for two days!”

Two guards rushed in, grabbed Xue Yuan, and dragged him out.

Stunned, Xue Yuan heard Chu Qiu’er’s indifferent voice as he reached the door.

“I told you last time, if the prince acted up again, he’d be punished. Prick five of his fingers this time. Next time, make it ten.”

“Yes, ma’am!” the two guards chorused. In their eyes, he wasn’t a prince at all—just a servant.

Chu Qiu’er then threw Qian Zhongxian a look that said, “Are you satisfied now?”

Qian Zhongxian smiled approvingly in return.

The two exchanged tender glances, a scene of melodramatic romance.

But as Xue Yuan realized what was happening, he nearly exploded.

“Damn it, do they really not see me as human?”

“If I swallow this humiliation tonight, I deserve to be a cuckold for life!”